Campaign Story

Our names are Tyler and Alexandra, and we are looking for financial assistance for our IVF and surrogacy in order to have a child. Below is a summary of our lives and how we got to this point.

Tyler is a 35-year-old from upstate New York. Almost right out of high school, he enlisted in the Navy and has been active-duty Navy Special Warfare since 2010. He has served through six deployments, three of which were combat duty. He is currently an instructor at a Naval Special Warfare school and plans to serve for four more years and retire after 20 years of NSW active-duty service.

Alex is a 37-year-old from Indianapolis, Indiana. She attended Indiana University in Bloomington and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice.

Fate brought us together in 2012, and we vowed to be there for each other in sickness and in health, through this life and the next. Little did we know how quickly that would be tested.

In 2014, at age 26, Alex was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia Type 1 (or MEN-1), which affects approximately 1 in 30,000 people. This disease causes tumors to grow in the endocrine system, primarily in the pituitary gland, the parathyroids, and the pancreas. Three weeks after that diagnosis, her pancreas tumor biopsy came back malignant, and she was then diagnosed with Pancreatic Neuroendocrine Cancer—the same rare cancer that took Steve Jobs, Patrick Swayze, and Aretha Franklin.

During her initial diagnosis, Tyler was on a combat deployment in the Middle East while she was in San Diego. Alex’s family was back in Indiana, and Tyler’s family was in upstate New York. Doctors told her she would need a complex surgical procedure called a Whipple surgery to remove the head of the pancreas, duodenum, gallbladder, bile duct, and then reconnect the remaining organs for digestion. The Whipple is an extremely high-risk surgery, and getting family together became a priority. Tyler withdrew from his deployment and flew straight to Boston to meet Alex, who flew in from San Diego to see a whipple surgeon specialist. Tyler unfortunately didn’t get his “decompression” downtime after his combat deployment. Instead, he returned to the U.S. to fight a whole new war on cancer. He describes that time at Mass General Hospital, and the months that followed, as “hands down more stressful than his deployment.” It was a traumatic time in our lives.

Alex’s recovery was very painful and slow, as expected after such a high-risk, major surgery. But our first battle with MEN-1 made it clear: if we’re ever given the opportunity to become parents, we want to take every possible step to prevent this disease in our child. Oct 2014 was the start of our fertility journey.

While Alex was still recovering, we met with fertility specialists and geneticists about how to eradicate her genetic disease from our future bloodline. She was labeled as high-risk for pregnancy at only 26 years old because of the Whipple surgery.

Once our lives slowly started to return to normal, we decided to go full steam ahead with IVF. For eight months, we checked all the boxes—Genetics, Fetal Assessment Unit, and finally Fertility—always discussing her high-risk pregnancy situation with only having half a pancreas. Alex then passed her 3-year cancer-free scan with flying colors at the end of 2021 and finally got the green light to start fertility shots.

By early 2022, Tyler had frozen his sperm in preparation for another deployment, and we signed the final IVF paperwork together. Our plan was for Alex to do an egg retrieval during his deployment, test our embryos for her genetic disease (PGT-M via Igenomix), and implant a healthy embryo after he returned. Everything was going to plan—Tyler deployed, and Alex continued with appointments preparing for the egg retrieval.

By April 2022, we wired the remaining $10k to move forward with fertility shots. Then, our fertility doctor threw a wrench in the plan—she mandated that Alex get another scan of her pancreas. She was concerned the IVF hormones could trigger tumor growth. We were frustrated; Alex had just completed a scan three months earlier. But, all thanks to that fertility doctor going with her gut, and by the grace of God, that unplanned scan would save Alex’s life.

The scan we insisted was not necessary, showed that Alex’s Neuroendocrine Cancer had returned in the remaining half of her pancreas. Tyler rushed home from deployment to help make a plan, and actually landed the night before what would end up being our last fertility appointment of 2022. We silently walked into our fertility doctor’s office together in a fog. By then, we already had pathology results and had lined up Tumor Boards at two top hospitals in San Diego. The seriousness of what lay ahead was sinking in.

We sat in her office in a fog, barely hearing anything she was saying. It was like Charlie Brown’s teacher—just noise. Alex didn’t say a word the entire appointment. Tears silently streamed down her face as Tyler and the doctor solemnly talked about the 10 new tumors discovered, and the fight ahead. To this day, we both don’t remember what was said, but only remember her kind and sad demeanor. I was numb. We were so close. How could this be happening again? For the third time, we were forced to shift our focus away from parenthood back to the fight against cancer. We didn’t know exactly what the best path forward was, but we knew we needed to find a specialist for Alex’s serious fight ahead. All signs pointed to The Mayo Clinic—we knew we had to get there.

We took a leap of faith and hit the road to Rochester, Minnesota for the first time. When we arrived at Mayo, we immediately knew we were in the right place. In under six hours, Alex received world-class scans, met with 3 top specialists, and received a clear recommendation: the remaining half of her pancreas had to be removed if we wanted to stop the metastasis. This severe surgery, called a total pancreatectomy, could officially make us cancer-free if we caught it in time, but it would mean surrogacy was now our only path to parenthood. We took that option and we chose to fight.

The Total Pancreatectomy and Splenectomy, performed by Dr. Mark Truty at Mayo Clinic in September 2022, went as planned. Alex lost her entire pancreas and spleen, and she is still missing her duodenum, bile duct and gallbladder from the whipple surgery. Her stomach is now connected directly to her small intestine, and she must take pancreatic enzymes lifelong in order to digest food. Alex is a special kind of diabetic now. Some fellow “no-pancreas” warriors call it Type 3c Diabetes Mayo refers to it as Surgically Induced Diabetes. Unfortunately, due to her extensive cancer surgical history, Alex can no longer carry a child—and genetically, she has a 50% chance of passing on her cancer.

And so, truly by the grace of God, here we are. Over the last year—with Mayo’s approval, we checked off the fertility appointments all over again, along with the required follow-up scans, and countless blood draws. We have officially completed two rounds of IVF, with no success so far in creating a PGT-M normal embryo. We are gearing up to start our third round of IVF and genetic embryo testing at the end of July 2025.

But after years of fighting cancer and covering the enormous out-of-pocket expenses that come with IVF, we’re now at a breaking point. Tricare, our military insurance, does not cover IVF or genetic testing. We don’t want to go bankrupt just trying to have a healthy child. The $51,000 we’ve spent so far covers three rounds of IVF and PGT-A/M testing through Igenomix alone. That figure does not include the additional approximate $80,000 needed for surrogacy. Our road to get here has been long, exhausting, and expensive—and now, we humbly and graciously ask for help.

We know in our hearts that this future baby is our reward for keeping the faith and holding on to each other through the storm. We are truly blessed through it all and believe without a doubt that the best is yet to come.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your time and consideration. We know just how precious time is.

With love,
Alex and Tyler